Tip 1: Crashing is better than eating right. Eating right makes you feel good about yourself. This is the last dang thing you want. You want to feel absolutely shitbag about yourself. Your self-esteem should be lower than a snake's belly at the bottom of a Deep South penitentiary septic tank.
When you have the appropriate base level of self-esteem, you'll want to inflict the grinding horror of your mind upon all around you. Appeasing the torments of your mind by ripping people's legs off in a bike race so you can be seen kissing the posium dolls is the best path. Eating right is bettor suited to actresses who've guzled so many lies getting movie roles that their digestive enzymes have been vaporized.
Now, crashing, on the other hand, gives you scar tissue, and scar tissue tells a story no idiotic tribal barbwire tattoos ever will. And as the stories of your scars are retold, you'll get hungry for sour mash and pork rinds. It is almost impossible to eat a macrobiotic salad while picking at your scabs and describing your ass-over-tits, auger-into-the-gravel-pile-moving-into-sprint-postion in the last corner. Self-hate propels the bicycle faster than all the 30/30/40 ratio flim-flam, phin-phen scam artists combined. Let retired generals, Enron satanists, Juan Exxon Valdez, and Guantanamo bay-detained Islamic Jihadists eat right. It is way better to crash hard and eat wrong."
- Bob Roll as written in Bobke II
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